You Call That Honesty?

Our lesson in church last Sunday was on honesty. And honestly, some of the discussion really bothered me and has continued to fester in my head. So now I can't sleep until I throw it out there to the Universe and release it.

Most of us believe we have a good handle on what's honest but I want to question that a bit. As the discussion turned to being honest in our words and thoughts I feel the lesson took a horrible turn. You see, people wanted to justify not being totally honest because it can hurt feelings. It's commonly called being brutally honest. But is it really honesty at all? Some talked about not really telling people what you thought of their clothes or how fat they looked. One woman even mentioned that you wouldn't tell a woman that her baby was ugly. Do you really consider that honesty to even be thinking that in the first place? I would consider it more judgmental than honest.

Think of it this way. To God that baby is absolutely beautiful. To that mother who has waited so long to have that child, that baby is absolutely beautiful. I have an amazing, and very handsome son. I would have LOVED to have more children, but my husband didn't want to as much as I did. Any child that I would be blessed to have would be absolutely beautiful to me. So are they really being honest in thinking that way or are they looking at that child through worldly eyes?

And the person in the not-so-flattering clothing? We all have our own opinions of what looks good and who are we to say what is right for someone else. Honest or judgmental? Personally, I could stand to lose 30 pounds (again), my nose is pretty big, my ears are even bigger, I color my hair interesting colors at times. Speaking of hair, I used to have a lot more of it so it was easy back then to do pretty things with it. Through a series of stressful events over the last few years I'm now down to a third of what I used to have. I don't have money to spend on clothes so everything I own comes off the clearance rack. So by some people's standards, I'm not that pretty, or fashionable, or thin. But I know that to God I am still beautiful.

A few years back I saw a man walking across the street in Salt Lake. His thin body was deformed so he was bent over to one side and had difficulty walking. But there he was, crossing the street dressed in a nice dress shirt and pants, walking with his head held high and looking very confident. Down a couple more blocks I then saw a man with a large muscular body crossing the street. As he crossed the street he smoked his cigarette. Now by the world's standards the first man would not be considered an attractive man. Is that an honest opinion of the man? I saw two men who had both been blessed with a body.  The first one was proud of the body he had been given and was taking care of it to the best of his ability. The second man, not so much. Where's the real honesty?

So there's my soap box. Don't get me wrong, this is not something I am perfect in. This is a lesson as much for me as anyone else who chooses to look at it. Sometimes we hide behind our own judgmental opinions by calling it brutal honesty. But if we choose not to look at the world and the people in it through human eyes but by the light of Christ instead, we just might see things differently and find real honesty. Excuse me for being brutally honest ;)